Gentle and Quiet, like a River

If you know me at all, you know that I tend to express my views - whether political, Biblical, or personal - with absolute confidence. I don't shy away from people who believe differently because I am not easily swayed into thinking differently. Further, if you've spent quality time with me, you know that I can tend to express these views very matter-of-fact-ly, sometimes forgetting to pay attention to the people who are listening.

I love to research. I find the law fascinating, especially as it relates to restoring justice to broken situations. I could read Harvard Law Review articles and Legal Memorandums all day. I fiercely stand up for what is right. Something within me snaps when I see injustice. Something urges me to say something, do something, change something. I feel sub-human when I am idle. If you've been around me you know how this looks. I tend to pace when watching movies because I'm not doing something productive. I ridicule my days of laziness.

I have little to no moderation. Whether it's research, music practice, a daily run, cooking, or serving, I commit myself to do it 110% or not at all. I have difficulty holding my tongue. It is hard for me to stay quiet when I have a point of view that I think should be heard. It is an uphill battle for me to do things in moderation. It always has been.

So, that's me. Research-loving, overly-confidant, super-convicted, exceedingly-passionate, Elsa.

And then I read 1 Peter 3:3-4.

"Do not let your adorning be external...but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 

And my heart sank, because I felt anything but gentle and quiet. I wanted more than anything to be precious in God's sight, but my personality seemed to be a living contradiction of that verse. 

I meditated on that verse for some time, praying that I might become gentle and quiet. The answer that God revealed to me was unexpected. 

Water. That was my answer. 

Jasper National Park, Canada 2017

Strange answer, huh? But it was true. 

Water is necessary. It is said that humans can survive about a week without drinking water. 

Water is beautiful. See the above picture. Google Iguazu Falls. Jump into your pool. 

Water is powerful. 3,160 tons of water flow over Niagra Falls every second. Because of this, Niagra Falls is capable of supplying 4 million kilowatts of electricity which the U.S. and Canada share. You could say that water moves the human project forward. 

Water is healing. I'll spare you my hydration rant, because chances are you've already heard it. . .and if you haven't, I doubt that this blog post alone will change your lifestyle. DRINK MORE WATER, NONETHELESS! 75% of America lives in a state of chronic dehydrat - okay, I'll stop. ;) 

Water is also gentle and quiet. Have you taken a morning to just sit by a stream? Have you collected shells in an alcove by the sea? Have you gone paddle boarding? Have you looked out of your airplane window over the Pacific Ocean? 

But water, like everything else, has two forms. A torrent or a relief. A tsunami or a waterfall. A flood or an ocean. What is the difference between the two? Direction and purpose.

And that's when peace flooded my soul. God doesn't want me to suppress my personality. He doesn't want me to stop laughing obnoxiously or try to become like other girls. He enjoys my awkward rants about the federal government. He appreciates my convictions, desires, and passions - for goodness sake, He formed them as part of me! Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus." He delights in me, and I in Him! 

We ought to direct our passions and pursuits in a way that is beneficial, but we ought not suppress them. 

So to you, friend, take a day or two and examine what you want to be. I guarantee you that God has made you that way for a reason. Don't be frightened if others don't understand or appreciate what makes your heart pound. Pour out your passions on the things that need them most, even if that means moving forward, moving away, moving free. Is it organizing? Is it mathematical equations? Is it teaching? Is it playing soccer? Is it writing Legal Memorandums? Is it playing the violin? Is it creating new things? Then do it, by golly! 

And to girls, don't feel condemned if you think that you don't fit in the category of having a quiet and gentle spirit. Keep directing your unique attributes into what God has called you to do. After all, gentle and quiet doesn't look the same for everyone. For Mary it meant saying, "Thy will be done." For Esther it was advocating for her people in front of the King. For the Samaritan woman it was facing her past and having the courage to become one of the first mass evangelists for the gospel (talk about an amazing public speaker!!!). 

The imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is fierce. It can heal and change lives. It is majestic and powerful. It is a masterpiece of the Lord. 

So yes, I hope that I have a gentle and quiet spirit. . .like a river.