Dear Mrs. Nasser

Dear Mrs. Nasser,

It has been almost six days since you left us for the Heavenly Realms above. I know that you are so happy right now, and that hearing the words, "well done, good and faithful servant" was what you lived for.

Although I have hope everlasting because of our wonderful Jesus, the void that you have left behind is vast. I don't know how to explain it. Somehow my heart feels empty, and yet full of memories, and all at the same time.

I heard this quote and it expresses what I cannot:

"Winter in the soul is by no means a comfortable season, and if it be upon thee just now it will be very painful to thee; but there is this comfort, namely, that the Lord makes it. He sends the sharp blasts of adversity to nip the buds of expectation: He scattereth the hoar-frost like ashes over the once verdant meadows of our joy: He casteth forth his ice like morsels freezing the streams of our delight. He does it all, He is the great Winter King, and rules in the realms of frost, and therefore thou canst not murmur. Losses, crosses, heaviness, sickness, poverty, and a thousand other ills, are of the Lord's sending, and come to us with wise design." (Charles Spurgeon, from Morning and Evening)

It is winter in my soul right now. I would do anything to have one more lunch with you at Bread Zeppelin, or have one more hug, or just share one more laugh.

And so, dear Mrs. Nasser, here is a piece of our story.

I first met you in 2011. I was fourteen years old at the time. I was a rebellious and headstrong child who had injured my shoulder due to over-use on competitive swim team. My mother signed me up for one of DFW Speech and Debate’s summer camps in hopes that I would find a passion for something that wasn’t injuring my body. She didn’t tell me that she had signed me up until a few days before the camp because she knew that I would say that only lame people did speech and debate. She was right, because I did say that. I remember that the first time I saw you, I thought two things. First, "she is so smart!" And the second thing, "she is so scary!" You asked tough questions and forced me to think through what I believed and why I believed it. It was an apologetics speech camp, and through this small camp, the Lord gave me a desire to study His characteristics, and He gave me the gift of salvation.

During the 2011-2012 competition season in the NCFCA, my Team Policy debate partner and I received coaching from you. Because of your tireless mentorship, we made it to the National Championship as novice debaters. After this, you asked me to come alongside you and help at your debate and speech camps. At this point I knew you as your student. During the 2012-2013 NCFCA competition season I competed in Lincoln Douglas debate, which is a values driven debate between two people. I asked for coaching from you and your son, Adam, for my birthday that year, which was one of the best decisions that I have ever made. You were at every tournament that year, and almost every one of my outrounds. At this point, you became more than a teacher. You were my mentor. And then, at the National Championship, I placed 2nd in the Nation in Lincoln Douglas Debate. This was only possible because of you. I remember throughout the entire tournament, I would go to the DFW Speech and Debate table and explain all about my rounds and personal struggles. You prayed for me, listened to me, and encouraged me.

DFW Speech and Debate table at NCFCA Nationals, 2013

One of the most definitive memories I have was when I was announced as the 2nd place winner at Nationals in 2013. Even though I didn’t win that round, I remember that I saw you shoot up out of your chair, fist in the air, cheering for me before anyone else. You were so proud of me.

Mrs. Nasser and Natalia with me at Nationals

Your love meant everything to me

That summer I continued to help with your camps. My last year of competition, 2013-2014, I did Team Policy debate again and my partner and I received coaching from you, making it to Nationals again. At the 2014 Championship, you watched my Persuasive speech in finals. It was about how Christians should expect rejection, and how if they do not face rejection in some way, there might be something amiss with our faith. You loved it.

When I graduated from high school in 2015, I was in a musical in Dallas: The Wizard of Oz. You came and saw it with your husband, George. I played Dorothy, and you ranted and raved about my performance. You had coined a name for me a few years back: you told me that I was a “powerhouse.” I loved it when you called me that.

I went to college that Fall, and late in 2015 received a message from you asking if I would pray about leading all of DFW Speech and Debate’s Speech camps for 2016. I thought about it for a bit, and knew that was what God wanted for me. And, in typical Suzanne Nasser fashion, the minute I said yes, I received a detailed and lengthy email outlining my responsibilities, business contract, and timeline. I found a camp assistant, interns, and we got an entire staff together for that summer. Before the summer camps started, I traveled with you and George to NCFCA Nationals in Oklahoma. When you both found out that I was paying for a hotel room, you gladly said that I should just stay with you so that I could save some money.

Me with Mrs. Nasser and some of our awesome camp staff, 2016

You were now my teacher, mentor, employer, and most importantly, my friend. We traveled around Texas and to Florida for over twenty speech camps. I could share so many stories, but I have chosen just three because they highlight your wonderful character.

The first one was when I was directing a camp at SMU. One of the students and his parent had not read the email before the camp, and so he hadn’t brought a prepared speech to camp. His Mom was not happy, to put it kindly, and so you intervened. I remember that your grace and understanding immediately put the mother in a better mood. You said, “Now there are two things we can do as Moms to our children. We can dwell on the mess-ups, or we can encourage them and give them the tools to move forward.” How on earth do you respond to that? This highlights how you were a peacemaker. I have so many memories of you, looking at me from above your glasses with your wide eyes, just nodding your head and smiling.

Speech camp at SMU, 2016

Speech camp at SMU, 2016

The second memory was at a camp in Coppell. There was a student there with autism, so you pulled him aside and spent one on one time with him. You sat down so that you were on his level, and by the end of the conversation, the student was smiling and was able to stand and give his speech. This shows how you cared. Your heart was a deep well of selflessness, of which we were all glad recipients.

Lastly, I have an irreplaceable memory from when we were traveling in Florida for camps. We were staying in the same room, and we went to bed usually around the same time. I discovered that you would fall asleep with your headphones in your ears. I could hear what you were listening to because the volume was so high, and I realized that you were listening to sermons. You always fell asleep before me, and I would stay awake for a bit, listening to the sermon too. It comforted me and gave me encouragement, even though it was an odd way to listen to a sermon. This shows the most admirable quality about you: you loved the Lord with a radical, earth-shaking, never-stopping, and profound love. He was your source of strength, your closest confidant, your everything. This love flowed out of you and splashed all who came in contact with you. That summer, I directed the same Apologetics speech camp that had changed my life five years prior.

World changers - because of you, Mrs. Nasser!

Some of our Camp staff in Florida, 2016

We became ever closer. You always joked about me coming back and leading camps and tournaments, and I always laughed and said that I needed to finish my college degree. The last time I saw you was on April 6th of this year. I was directing a National Conference at my University, and I had asked Adam to come and be our keynote speaker for our Cultural Dinner. Adam spoke about his amazing adventures in Cairo and Palestine. As the hundreds of college students watched Adam speak over dinner, you were videotaping him from your cell phone, and you looked at me and said, “there is a part of his speech that will be perfect for our speech camps.” You were so proud of your children: Adam and Samantha. They were your joy. We talked about all kinds of things that evening, long after the students had left.

The last Bible verse that we ever spoke about was 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” Fear has been my biggest struggle, and you always kept me focused on the God of my salvation, the Lord Jesus Christ. I am not afraid, because I know that I will see you again one day, and I know that you are complete and fulfilled now. What a blessed assurance!

You absolutely changed my life. You changed how I think, you caused me to look more like Jesus, and I hope that you know that. You loved me, and I loved you. And for that I will be forever grateful.